Open Up, Sakura
by ElsiMate
Summary: Sasuke just wants her to try it. Slight OOC. Crack-ish.


**Title: Open Up, Kura-chan**

**Author: limegreen8**

**Summary: Sasuke just wants her to try it. Slight OOC. Crack-ish.**

**Pairing: SasuSaku**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**Thank you for reading. I have never been able to write a good oneshot, but…please read anyway!

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"No." The pink-haired girl crossed her arms over her well developed (for her age) chest and turned the other way, pouting.

"Just say aaah, Sakura." The frustrated twelve year-old urged, wagging said thing in front of her. She only plopped down and let her feet hang on the edge of the wooden bridge, still pouting.

"I am not letting you shove that _atrocious _**thing** in my mouth!" Sakura hissed.

"Please?" He looked down at her, resting his forehead on his crossed arms. Sakura remained unfazed by the gesture and only raised a brow at him.

Sasuke suppressed a sigh and pouted slightly. "Please?" Sakura opened an eye at him and blushed.

"N-NO!" She faltered a little and the boy smirked.

'_Almost.'_

She catches his gloat fest and huffs. "Bastard."

"Annoying." He muttered, which earned him a punch to the groin.

"Damn it, Sakura." He groaned, falling beside her. "You know we were going to use that."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?" She bonked him on the head.

"OW!" He rubbed his soar head and, uh…_that._

"What are you two talking about?" Sakura turned around to find her silver-haired sensei crouching behind them, his eyes or eye looking from Sasuke to Sakura to his orange book.

"Sensei, Sasuke being mean and tried to put that in me!" Sakura pointed at the boy's bento…which was conveniently (NOT) placed near Sasuke's crotch.

Kakash followed her finger and raised a brow. "That?"

"That." Sakura stated matter-of-factly.

"Hmmm…that." Kakashi smiled. "Birds and bees, Sakura."

"What?" She asked with _**innocent**_ curiosity.

"Well, you both are thirteen." Kakashi reasoned.

'_Puberty.'_

"No, actually, Sakura-chan's thirteen; me and teme are twelve." Naruto corrected his sensei.

"_Teme and I."_ Kakashi corrected his student's grammar.

"No, Kakashi-sensei. You're about 26, right?" Naruto corrected…again.

"I was talking about—"

"Will you stop correcting each other?!?" Sakura shrieked.

"Sorry Sakura-chan." Naruto said sheepishly.

Kakashi looked from Sakura to Sasuke and back. Naruto followed suit.

"Kakashi-sensei, you aren't thinking what I think you're thinking, right?" Naruto asked his sensei who was walking to Sasuke with a stick in hand. The older man started poking Sasuke and snickered mischievously.

"Quit it, Kakashi!" The boy groaned and sat up slowly, glaring at Kakashi and taking his stick.

"Don't you dare poke me with that stick, Sasuke."

"Oh, I'm not planning to." Sasuke held the stick in his right hand and approached Kakashi slowly; every step he'd make, Kakashi would take a step back.

"Yeah! Go, Teme! Give him some payback for that 'A Thousand Years of Pain!"

"S-s-s-sasuke." Kakashi tried to sound reproachful.

"This is going to push that stick up your ass even further down your colon." Sasuke grinned.

"Such vulgar language for a—"

"GUYS!" All heads turned to the angered pink haired girl.

Sasuke started to glare harder at her.

"Just do it!" He cried—No, he shouted; because Uchiha's don't cry…except when Itachi killed the clan and Sasuke was all like, "Boo-hoo." And—MOVING ON…

"Never ever!" Sakura huffed.

"Naruto, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Kakashi observed his two students.

"I ASKED THAT QUESTION!"

"Just answer it."

"Are you thinking 'Dum-Dee-Dum-Dee-Dum'?"

"No."

"Then no."

Kakashi sighed and turned back to Sasuke and Sakura.

"Do it."

"No." She stated in a mocking tone.

'Sasuke, as much as I love the fact that you are taking interest in…this," Kakashi waved the orange book in hand. "You and Sakura are still too—"

"Why are you even here, Kakashi?" Sasuke growled at the man.

"Uhm…" Kakashi started awkwardly, here goes birds and bees. "You see, Sasuke, when a boy and a girl love each other, they eventually—"

"Not like that." Saske said flatly.

"Oh. What, can I not pay my cute students a visit?"

"No, I meant it's thirty minutes after we were supposed to meet and...you're here." Kakashi stared at him wide-eyed; never would the heir to the Uchiha clan speak so much.

He regained composure and replied, "Well, you see, that's pretty interesting. I _found _the map to the path of life and—"

"Hello? Can you guys finish one topic before moving onto the next?" Sakura said tapping her foot.

"Yes, of course. Sorry Sakura." Kakashi did a peace sign. "Now, Sasuke, what were you planning to do to our sweet little Sakura-chan?"

"Psh. Innocent." Sasuke scoffed.

"He was trying to get that-that _**thing**_ in my mouth!!!"

"Orally huh? I guess that's a lot…safer." Kakashi muttered to himself, making sure the young ninjas wouldn't hear him.

"She wouldn't even try it! She was being—"

"Quiet, Sasuke." Kakshi shushed . "It's Sakura's turn to talk." He turns to the girl and nods.

"Thank you, Sensei." She smiled at him and glared at Sasuke. "As I was saying…" She cleared her throat. "Sasuke is freaking wrong!"

'_What is it with kids and their language these days?'_

"I have tried it!" Kakashi choked.

'_Whaaat???'_

"And it was disgusting!" Kakashi sighed, somewhat relieved, but stared disbelievingly at the boys who were as calm as…something really calm…like a yoga instructor in heaven.

"The skin felt disgusting in my mouth! The size, some big some really small!" Kakashi's eyes widened and again turned to the boys who were still calm.

'_Is this some sort of fad?'_

"How many have you seen?!?" Kakashi shrieked.

"Quite a lot, sensei, quite a lot." Kakashi's face portrayed that of a five year old watching 'The Grudge.'

"And the seeds—" Kakashi gasped. "—that squirt out when I bite it, disgusting!"

"A-are you done?" Their sensei stammered.

"Well, yeah, but—"

"YOUR TURN, SASUKE!" He abruptly turned to the boy.

"Hn. So I've been trying to get it in her," Kakashi gulped. "I've tried 'Here comes the train. Choo…Choo!' or 'Please open up.' or 'Pretty please with sugar on top and the strawberry sprinkles you like?'; I even pouted, Kakashi, I POUTED. Uchihas don't pout. She wouldn't give it even just a little taste after all I did. She didn't want to experience the greatness that is—"

"STOP!" Kakashi shouted. "WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR UNTALKATIVE EMO SELF???"

"What is wrong with you, sensei?" Naruto asked.

"ME?!? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, YOU-YOU…SEX ADDICTSS?!?" Kakashi screeched, his _eye_ wide—get it? 'Coz you y'know, you can only see one of Kakashi's eyes? Get it? You don't? Awkweird…

"What the hell does that mean???" Naruto and Sakura asked with genuine curiosity.

Something clicked in Sasuke's chicken ass-shaped head and he stared at Kakashi in shock. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK WE WERE TALKING ABOUT?!?"

Kakashi turned to the flustered boy. "You weren't talking about oral se—"

"N-NO!!!" Sasuke blushed imagining Sakura sucking his di—

"Sick perverted old man!" Kakashi grinned.

"Why? What did I do? It's not my fault you're having naughty thoughts about Sa—"

"SHUT UP!!!" Sasuke blushed even more.

"Sasuke and Sa—"

"I'm going home." Sasuke said and pocketed his hands hiding his…uh…thingy. "And you're coming with me." He grabbed Sakura by the wrist and dragged her along.

"Have fun, you two!" Kakashi waved to them and snickered at Sasuke's growing…*ahem*

"Bye, Sakura-chan! Bye, Teme!"

"Sasuke-kun!" Sasuke shuddered, thinking of her shouting like that, writhing under—STOP IT! NO MORE THOUGHTS!

"I don't even live near you, you asshole!" She shrieked gnawing at her arm.

"Sakura, stop trying to chew your arm off." Sasuke deadpanned.

"I don't want to go with you!" She struggled some more. "I don't want to eat any of your stupid tomatoes!"

"I promise you, it won't be the tomatoes that I'll get in your mouth."

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**Thank you for reading! Please tell me what you think! I have never written a good oneshot…so PLEASE REVIEW!**


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